Pushing Your Kids Away?

We all love our children and want to spend time with them, even when they are grown and have families of their own.  Over the years, I have heard many stories from patients, friends and acquaintances explaining why they don’t want to visit their parents.  I hope to refer back to this blog in my later years to help me avoid the mistakes others have made.  If you want to spend more time with your adult children, but they are always too busy, these the three common reasons why.

You force them to come visit or you lay a guilt trip on them when they don’t visit.  Now that your children are grown, they are independent and want to make their own decisions about who they see and when they see them.  If you don’t rank high on their “fun” list, you will be pushed down to the obligatory visit once a year.  However, this may not  be the case if you have an adult child who is still dependent on you financially.  They come visit more often to ensure the gravy train will keep flowing.

You offer plenty of unsolicited advice.  A recent poll asking “Do you generally like unsolicited  advice?” 56% responded no!  We respond negatively to unsolicited advice because it is considered an assertion of dominance, distrust or criticism.  Children of all ages resist control from their parents.  It is the natural order of things.

Acting as if you are infallible and perfect.  Some parents treat their children as peers to compete against. They constantly tell tales of their abilities, their accomplishments, their physical fitness at an older age.  I guarantee your children do not want to hear how amazing and perfect you are.  Children want to love their parents, but not for their accomplishments.  

Botox 101

If you are considering getting Botox to address unwanted wrinkles, or wrinkles that make you look angry, you need to be able to differentiate fact from fiction. Most people who talk about their Botox injections don’t know enough about it to be experts. Let’s start with the three worst ways to get Botox injections.
 
Botox parties. Let me paint the picture… too much wine, peer pressure, and a doctor that is rushed trying to inject 15 or 20 people. Many times that doctor comes from out of town and is nowhere to be found if you have a problem.
Getting injections from a doctor who barely speaks to you. I hear this story all the time. “The doctor just walked in and started injecting.” He/she barely spoke and walked out the door. A physician or their assistant should take a thorough history to make sure you don’t have any conditions such as neurologic diseases, and to make sure you are not pregnant or nursing. Not speaking to you about your desired result is simply unacceptable.
Basing your decision on Botox by price alone. Everyone loves a bargain, but remember, Botox, Xeomin, and Dysport are all toxins that are injected into muscles to relax them. Improper injection can result in an unfavorable appearance that lasts for up to three months. I would rather spend a little more money since I really like my face.
 
Your Botox experience should be pleasant. You should be greeted by friendly staff who makes you feel as if they value you as a client. A thorough history should be taken and then you should be asked what areas you are concerned about. You should inquire about the qualifications and experience of the injector. The injector should be a Physician, Nurse Practitioner, or Physician Assistant. The procedure should be performed after a consent is signed and the area of the face is clean and dry. The injections usually do not hurt or cause bleeding. Post procedure instructions should also be provided. With this information in mind, you can have a safe and pleasant experience while banishing the appearance of wrinkles.
 
Considering Botox? Take advantage of our Botox special until October 31st where you can get Botox or Xeomin for $10/unit. Call 904-461-6797 to book your appointment today!

My Kids Deserve The Very Best

This generation of parents is very different from those I remember when I was growing up.  A generation ago, parents were not a child’s friend.  Children showed respect for their elders.  If a child disagreed with his/her parents, they did so quietly and there was no negotiation.  Arguing would only lead to more unfavorable consequences.  However, these days, parents focus more on befriending their children than being an authority figure and leading by example.
 
Today’s parents have quite a different mindset.  “Money is no object when it comes to my children” or “You deserve the very best” – in other words, my children will have the best of everything whether we can afford it or not.  A generation, ago parents would clearly state, “I am sorry but we simply cannot afford that”.  When a child hears this, they learn that they cannot be self-centered.  They are forced to understand the reality that money is not limitless and that they are not the only person in the family.  
 
When I was younger and needed money, I got jobs mopping floors and serving ice cream.  It was the only job I could get at the age of fourteen that was close enough that my parents to drive me.  Both of my parents worked and there was never a parent available full time, ready to cater to my every need.  Interestingly enough, I was not the only person in this situation.  Even my friends had this “issue” and were working for their money.  My children’s friends get fifty dollars a week as spending money from their parents.  I find this rather astonishing.  It makes me question – What are we teaching our children if we give them the latest iPhones, gaming consoles, and cars?   It teaches them entitlement rather than the discipline to work hard in order to acquire the things they want.  Instead of telling children that they “deserve the very best”, teach them that they deserve only what they can earn for themselves, by forcing them to work for and save for the things they want.

He loves me just the way I am (even if I've let myself go)

In my ENT practice, I often see many husbands and wives. Sometimes they like to be seen in the same room and sometimes they prefer to be seen separately. During one of these separate appointments, I first saw the wife about an ENT related issue, but noticed that she was holding onto my medical spa brochure. Near the end of her appointment, she asked me a question about Botox and then proceeded to state that she did not need or want it, because her husband loves her just the way she is. I went to see her husband in the next room, shortly after, and ironically, he had the same medical spa brochure in his hand. Then, at the end of his appointment, he stated “I wish my wife would partake in some of your services. I have noticed that she has aged lately.”
 
A recent study, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, reported that spousal attractiveness plays a major role in marital satisfaction. Another research study, conducted in 2008 at the Relationship institute at UCLA, came to a similar conclusion. According to this study, men who felt lucky to be married to a more attractive woman were seen to tend to more of their wives needs. However, in relationships where the man felt that he was the more attractive than his spouse, this phenomenon was witnessed at a much lower scale.
 
So ladies, can you just let yourself go once you’re married and assume your husband loves you just the way you are? I believe that the answer to this question depends on the man are with. Some men do not stress much importance on physical appearance, but most lose attraction when signs of aging become more apparent. Attraction is a very important factor in relationships – as many studies have proven to be true – and we should strive to maintain our appearance even as we age. Sure, personality matters. Your brain even perceives people that have favorable personalities to be more attractive. However, physical appearance does affect attraction – but at some point the balance begins to shift and even the best personality cannot outweigh an unfavorable physical appearance. Also, keep in mind that this can still be the case for women. Although women tend to care more for personality, appearance is still a fairly large factor, in attraction.

Lies you are telling yourself about your skin

We live in a world of frequent altered reality and we are often conditioned to be polite and may tell people what they want to hear.  We tend to do this because we want to be liked by others and we don’t realize others are doing the same thing to us.  Eventually, we begin to lie to ourselves because the truth is painful.  Here are the most common lies I hear from my patients.
 
My skin hasn’t changed a bit.  
If you really believe this, get yourself under a Visia complexion analysis or even a magnifying mirror to see if it’s really true.  More than likely, it’s not.
 
I don’t need skin care, I get Botox.  
Botox relaxes wrinkles, but it doesn’t replace skin care.  My patients who utilize a good skin care regimen age more gracefully and require less Botox treatments over the years.
 
I have always had great skin, so I don’t need to take care of it.  
If you are blessed with great skin, you got really lucky and you should absolutely take care of it.  Good skin care will leave you looking and feeling your best for years to come.
 
I have terrible skin and there is nothing I can do about it.  
This is by far the worst lie I’ve heard people tell themselves.  These are usually people who have tried numerous skin care products without improvement, most likely purchased at the drug store or department store. Most skin care problems can be repaired. You need a performance skin care product that targets your skin care needs.
 
Lying, especially to ourselves, serves no purpose.  We are better off accepting reality and putting forth an effort to change and improve ourselves.  Only then will we be able to live life to the fullest.  

Running Can Alter Your Body And Mind

After my mother completed her breast cancer treatments in 2014, I made a decision to run the half marathon “13.1 with Donna” race in February of 2015.   At the onset of my training, I was faced with multiple challenges.  First and foremost, I didn’t believe I was an athlete. I wasn’t sure that I could complete 13.1 miles, even though I finished the Gate River Run, a 15K race.  Next, was an achilles injury 2 weeks before the race that prevented me from running.  After three months of training for this race, I was devastated.  Next, I suffered from a hamstring injury while slalom skiing just a few months prior to the next training season.  I had to go to physical therapy in addition to doing many exercises at home daily to improve my mobility and decrease my pain.
 
I have always enjoyed running alone for the peace and solitude with my thoughts. However, I found that the more I ran, the longer it took to get my runner’s high. The long runs became boring and I didn’t have the will to challenge myself.  I started running with two of my girlfriends and all of a sudden, the intense training started to feel like a social encounter among friends who happened to be running long distances while catching up on life. Running became more about being with my friends and my commitment to physical fitness and recharging my mind than a chore.  I eventually started looked forward to waking up early on a weekend to run 11 miles while feeling energized and ready to tackle the challenge the moment I woke up.
 
There have been multiple positive physical changes I have noticed after running the “13.1 with Donna”. However, the bigger changes have been to my psyche.  I now consider myself an athlete – a word I would have never used to describe myself before.  Additionally, I now know that despite multiple physical setbacks, I will still stand true to my commitment and reach my goals.

Dr. DePasquale joins ARIIX Wellness Council

BOUNTIFUL, Utah – ARIIX, an international opportunity company that promotes healthy, toxicfree living, is excited to announce the addition of Kalpana DePasquale, DO, to the ARIIX Wellness Council. The ARIIX Wellness Council is made up of an exclusive group of extraordinary individuals that help shape the decisions and direction of the ARIIX wellness product line.
Based in St. Augustine, Florida, DePasquale is a highly trained and experienced ENT specialist who is board-certified in Otolaryngology/Head & Neck Surgery and Facial Plastic Surgery.
“I am honored to accept the invitation to become a part of this amazing group and look forward to being a part of a company that creates clean products,” said DePasquale. “I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer 10 years ago and have been on a quest ever since to find products that are good for me, my family, and my patients. ARIIX has everything I’ve been seeking, all in one company.”
“I’ve always wanted to help people, and this is what led me to pursue a career in medicine. I chose to specialize in ear, nose and throat medicine because I was intrigued by the complexity of the head and neck anatomy. In addition, I felt this specialty allowed tremendous opportunities to make an immediate impact on the lives of patients of all ages. There are always advances being made in ENT medicine, and I make a point of staying on top of them through continuing education and membership in many professional medical societies. My patients trust me with their care, so I owe it to them to offer the best products and treatments available.”
DePasquale’s practice, St. Augustine Ear, Nose & Throat, is located in St. Augustine, where she regularly makes appearances on TV and radio as a guest expert. In her spare time, she enjoys running, hiking, world travel, writing and playing the piano.
“We are pleased to welcome Dr. DePasquale to the council,” said Deanna Latson, ARIIX Chief Product Officer. “Her passion for providing the best possible care for her patients, family and self is a perfect fit for the Council and we look forward to working with her.”
About ARIIX
ARIIX is an international opportunity company that creates superior, exclusively branded products marketed through independent representatives. To promote healthy living, ARIIX develops toxic-free products through collaboration with world-renowned experts in the health, wellness, and fitness industries. With a devotion to helping others unleash their potential for good, ARIIX provides a global vision, outstanding management experience, driven industry leadership, and a valued partnership that protects its representatives. This partnership is underscored by a patent-pending compensation plan created to give the greatest benefit to the representative. The ARIIX opportunity and products are available in Australia, Canada, Greater China including Hong Kong SAR and Taiwan SAR, Japan, Kazakhstan, Mexico, The Netherlands, Portugal, Russia, Singapore, South Korea, and the United States.

What It's Really Like to be a Physician

Looking in the glass house, a physician’s life may look like a perfect picture.  A nice house, nice family and a successful career.  
What few people know is that this glass house can be easily shattered.  Helping people feel better may be alluring as a career, but few people understand the challenges a physician faces.  
Some scary stats
Many of us share the same strengths –  intelligence, perseverance, and confidence.  However, the top stressors of the job include lack of sleep, loneliness, 24-hour responsibilities and self- criticism which can lead to depression and even suicide.  
In fact, physicians are more than twice as likely to commit suicide than the general population.  Here are some other scary stats…

  • Depression is reported in as many as 30 percent of physicians
  • Forty percent of suicides are associated with alcoholism, and 20 percent of suicides are associated with drug abuse
  • Divorce rates are 20 percent higher than those in the general population  

Getting to the root of the problem
How can physicians properly take care of others if they can’t even take care of themselves? Giving into the pressures of working longer hours, the demands of the patients, and regulatory demands from the government can lead to angry and despondent physicians.  
The “normal” work week for a physician is 60 hours a week and a 40 hour week is considered part time.  This leaves little time for physicians to develop proper interpersonal relationships, fitness regimens, and taking time for hobbies.  
I hear patients complain about physicians that barely took the time to address their complaints or were short tempered.  As the demands on physicians continue to escalate in conjunction with decreased pay,  this temperament is bound to increase.  
The solution is not an easy one, but it has to start with the emotional foundation.  Physicians need to be mindful of their emotional and physical health.  They need to develop a strong family foundation for support and take care of their bodies.  Only then can the house of glass be transformed into a house of bricks to handle the stressors of this career choice.